I stared blankly up at the dark ceiling
Painted the same boring white
As the walls that were covered in paintings
I had carefully chosen and placed.
Tracing over and over again with my eyes
The pattern of small glowing green stars
I had stuck up there with double-sided tape
However many years ago.
I didn't know what I was feeling
In that moment that felt forever.
That moment of laying in the peaceful shadow
Of my room,
The night seeping in through the cracks
In the barrier I had created from the day.
Not even the darkness knew what I was feeling
In that moment that felt forever.
That moment of watching my thoughts
Zip zap by,
Continuously changing and morphing
As fast as they first appeared.
But no thought ever knew what I was feeling
In that moment that felt forever.
That moment of listening to the silence
Ever growing,
Filling every crevice and corner
With it's blissful suffocation.
It drowned all that knew what I was feeling
In that moment that felt forever.
That moment of hiding myself from the world,
From life,
From everything I knew that didn't know me
From even myself
For I thought I’d never know what I was feeling
In that moment that felt forever.